After scouring the internet, we have come to a conclusion:

YOU ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO TALK ABOUT POP CULTURE.

1. You own a computer -- NOT QUALIFIED.
2. You think you're funny -- NOT QUALIFIED.
3. You pay attention to popular culture -- NOT QUALIFIED.
4. You get paid by a newspaper syndicate -- NOT QUALIFIED.

So that's why we're here. We're going to tell you about pop culture and why it's hilarious.

Flatcapconspiracy.com -- QUALIFIED*.

So sit back and enjoy.

(*Qualifications pending and are not guaranteed.)